People strategies.

Upon finishing school, my friends were unsure of how to position themselves for potential employers.

So I decided for them.

View original thread here.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Brief for Josh.

Why are we advertising?
To get Josh the job at the right place.

Positioning Statement
Josh is trouble.

Who are we talking to?
Potential family members.

How do they feel about Josh?
Josh makes an impression. Josh is opposing sides of the same coin. A range of highs and lows. Josh is your dad and your youngest brother. His strengths are his weaknesses. If you say one thing, he will say the opposite. Cares more about big ideas but "doesn't forget the details" (unsourced). Motivating to others but "needs to follow up on his own ideas." (anonymous) Josh is gaudy (eccentric, flamboyant, flashy, garish, glitzy, loud, ostentatious, spectacular, splashy, swank (or swanky), tawdry). He is an instigator. He has high expectations for others and is vocal when they don't meet them. Josh has an opinion. Josh is all heart. Josh is Wolverine, whose superpower was once described as 'he just keeps coming.'

If Josh was a wrestler, what wrestler would he be?
The Ultimate Warrior. Look him up.

What should we say to them?
Josh wants to start some shit. But only so that you will succeed. If you hire Josh, he will be taking an active role in your office.

Media Requirements
1 Website, due this week.

Posted by NOT EB at 7:24 PM 1 Comment





Saturday, February 23, 2008

Brief for Jill Lin.

Why are we advertising?
To get Jill Lin the job at the right place.

Positioning Statement
Jill Lin doesn't care about advertising, she cares about what she cares about, sometimes that's advertising.

Who are we talking to?
People whose feelings towards advertising fall in line with her own.

How do they feel about Jill Lin?
Jill Lin is "fierce." "Sweet." "Scary." "Has an affinity for illustrating fish." With Jill Lin, "if there's a will, there's a way." If Jill Lin wants something, she will go after it, regardless of the cost (figuratively and literally). "If she's into it, she's really into it." She is high fashion. Jill Lin is pretty. She knows what pretty is. Jill Lin is good taste. Jill Lin is small, but she will kick your ass.

What should we say to them?
You want Jill Lin, so be something that Jill Lin wants. Don't tell Jill Lin what Jill Lin is. Jill Lin does not belong in a box.

If Jill Lin was a wrestler, what wrestler would she be?
Owen Hart, who died in the ring after being told to do something he didn't want to do.

Media Requirements
1 Website, due this week.

Posted by NOT EB at 7:30 PM 1 Comment





Sunday, February 24, 2008

Jenn's brief.

Why are we advertising?
To get Jenn the job at the right place.

Positioning Statement
I may be from a different planet, but I come bearing gifts.

Who are we talking to?
"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement. "

^^Those people.

How do they feel about Jenn?
Jennifer Maravillas is "fucking crazy." A dreamer. Random. "Lives somewhere else, but we see her everyday." She is everywhere. A free-spirit. Air-y. She has a small head but wears big glasses. An unexpected sorority member. Will not flourish unless she can do her own thing. Jenn makes others feel uncool. Even the people who get Jenn don't seem to get Jenn. Pants are forbidden.

What should we say to them?
I don't know where Jenn is, but I want to be there.

If Jenn was a wrestler, what wrestler would she be?
One of those luchadores, who are simply a joy to watch.

Media Requirements
1 Website, due this week.

Posted by NOT EB at 10:57 PM 2 Comments





Sunday, February 24, 2008

Alex's Brief.

Why are we advertising?
To get Alex the job at the right place.

Positioning Statement
Alex is a handful.

Who are we talking to?
Potential babysitters.

How do they feel about Alex?
Alex falls down. Alex is always moving. He is jolly. Laughter is his response to everything. Alex is distracted. Alex is distracting. Alex is bouncy. Alex has uncontainable energy. Contagious energy. If you're around Alex, you will laugh. You may not realize why you are laughing or remember why you laughed, but you will laugh. Alex is the "kid on the end of a leash." Alex "needs time to run around." Alex doesn't see the big picture/doesn't have focus. Alex is quick. Alex is "comfortable to be around, to tell ideas to." "Makes your ideas stronger." Alex tells stories. You know what Alex is interested in because Alex wants you to like what he likes, and you most likely will. Certain words/things/ideas become associated with Alex because Alex will tell you about them, a lot. Alex talks at all the wrong times.

What should we say to them?
Alex will hurt himself for money.

If Alex was a wrestler, what wrestler would she be?
Mick Foley. Never technically the best wrestler, but beloved because he was willing to hurt himself in order to make me happy. My favorite wrestler.

Media Requirements
1 Website, due this week.

Posted by NOT EB at 11:49 PM 5 Comments





Friday, May 2, 2008

Brian's Brief.

Why are we advertising?
To get Brian the job at the right place.

Positioning Statement?
Brian is effortless.

Who are we talking to?
The ladies.

How do they feel about Brian?
Brian is dreamy. Brian is unfazed. He doesn't get stressed out. He is mean, but funny. "Calls you out without hurting your feelings." Dresses like an "Irish immigrant moving to America." Brian coasts. He is a talented artist. Delightful. Has a cackle - a "genuine laugh." He is the cool kid in the back. He is "searching for something more." Brian is a father. He will probably be a cool dad. "Brian gives even less of a shit about what other people think than you do." He didn't deserve to win best dressed. That honor belonged to Eric Larkin and he knows it.

What should we say to them?
Brian makes you cool by association.

If Brian was a wrestler, what wrestler would he be?
The Rock. Never the most technical wrestler, but gets by on his charm.

Media Requirements
1 Website, due this week.

Posted by NOT EB at 3:27 AM 1 Comment





Friday, May 2, 2008

Samara's Brief.

Why are we advertising?
To get Samara the job at the right place.

Positioning Statement
Samara's got some damn sense.

Who are we talking to?
People acting a fool.

How do they feel about Samara?
Samara is fun, funny, laid back. Samara puts up a wall. Bossy. Not athletic, but not girly. Samara "does things on her own time." She is constructive without being nasty. Samara is direct. Samara's got a mouth. Samara has opinions. Samara is not afraid to state her opinions. She can be intimidating. Samara is a "difficult piece of fruit." Samara ain't trying to impress nobody. Samara claims to keep it real. She may act hard but she is fronting. If you can get in, you're good. Samara is just fucking with you, man. Samara is black.

What should we say to them?
Samara ain't got any damn time for this. Give her a damn job.

If Samara was a wrestler, what wrestler would she be?
Christian Cage. Not the biggest wrestler, nor the baddest, but uses his mouth to start some shit.

Media Requirements
I don't know, don't you have a thesis due or some shit?

Posted by NOT EB at 3:52 AM 5 Comments





Sunday, May 4, 2008

Katherine's Brief.

Why are we advertising?
To get Katherine a job at the right place.

Positioning Statement
She's a bitch, but we like her.

Who are we talking to?
Older gentlemen.

How do they feel about Katherine?
Katherine 'doesn't have much to say, yet speaks.' Self-centered, but cares about her friends. Bold. Sarcastic. Pushes buttons. An '8-year old with a driver's license.' Likes boys. Is an exclusive club. You either get Katherine or you don't. Energetic, spunky, vivacious. Has a weird accent. Like she's not from here, but she's definitely from here. Katherine is the sun. Wild. Likes getting what she wants but doesn't need it. She has sharp nails and uses them to hurt people. Katherine doesn't cry.

What should we say to them?
Katherine is a risk. It is just as likely for you to hate Katherine as it is for you to love her. Either way, it will be interesting.

If Katherine was a wrestler, what wrestler would she be?
Ric Flair. One of the loudest, most garish wrestlers in the game. Also
known as a "Limousine ridin', jet flying, kiss stealin', wheelin' dealing,
son of a gun."

Media Requirements
That thing that Brand Managers have to do.

Posted by NOT EB at 3:38 AM 0 Comments